i try to think
yet thoughts they come
neither now nor then
o wretched perversion
that follows such conversion
to become the Saul made Paul
or perhaps his inverse
the doubting Judas
deceived no less than Eve
by the footless priests
bring on the feasts
we shall surely drink
to our death save His
balanced on the brink of Paradise
a foot no less dipped in Sheol
than that first cursed bite entailed…
i can hear the
scratching
screaming
trembling of my voice
flooded in tears of never-agains
with this wet i clean your feet
the dirt on my hands leaves my stain
the strain
the pain of being who im not
i lift these hands of filth
they belong in broken plaster
faster they say
but i have fed the slow
i move in my numbness to no avail
i am cursed by what i know
addicted to what i know not
an alien limb defiles my skin
peirced
a sliver of the past i long for
ive been raped of my innocence
ignorance
my virgin soul penetrated with truth
a truth i hate
the slate in my hand keep erasing
i am being erased
am i not good enough?
i shake on my drug
i have a revelation to give
it’ll hurt
cause i hurt
but it’ll be real
my real
i kick in my blood
ripped flesh battered bones
there you stand
watching me writhe in the mud
like a nothing
i am nothing
do something!
tiny little church building
in a world where no one knows
worshipping an unknown God
reading false praise
stuck with hearts of stone
singing to the dead
when we’re all just a whirlwind of
blue.
Rise up you second hand moon
Can’t you hear my guitar’s in tune
Ready to play as soon as you rise
Or are you embarrassed of your size
Just ‘cause I can mute you with my thumb
doesn’t mean you can’t come from
your hiding place beneath the ground
where only in darkness can you be found
Don’t be sad that more people like the sun
Even God can’t have everyone
So what if your light is just a reflection
You can be gazed upon with our rejection
Here, I’ll play a song
And you can sing along
How everyone’s the sun
And I’m the moon.
You’re all strapped up in a grey machine
As they watch you
tryin’ to see where you’ve been
where you’re going
or is there such a place?
Can you show me how to fill the space?
Where friendships walk and rumours talk
Is there such a town?
Why do you frown is it because
you’re all alone
Would ya like to hold my hand?
Let me be our man?
Or maybe the last pick in a street
ball game is all you really want.
I don’t mean to taunt
but your smile’s full of paint
You say you’re happy but you ain’t
cause you’re stuck in this machine.
Here i sit waiting i wait for that next door to open a creak more and with two feet on the floor i stand and stare an empty gaze into nowhere nohow nowhys just a balance of evil and good and as it should it keeps the cycle of the wheel wells of life to pass on energy like a knife across the skin sinking in the prick of a pin the hurt of sin creating pleasure beneath the pain are we insane for you and I we are the same each time we pass like glass we break and become each other never to lose nor to chose for choices are made and cannot fade for they are long since resolved as problems dissolve into a past so fast gone only the present shall last while being first place in your own mind is the quest to find